HOW HAS THIS MENACE COME TO BE

People often ask me: how is it possible Yakub? How can the buttocks of a man develop independant thought and embark on an evil plan to take over the world and feast on all the little girls in it?

I wondered this myself when I first discovered the enormous threat looming large in the form of a pair of hairy, huge, flabby and utterly psychotic buttocks. I searched. I read. I went looking for answers in all the right places.

What did I find?

I found a cover-up. Everything was covered up. Everything was covert, hidden, hushed and concealed by forces unknown. Still I dug. Then I found the truth: the buttocks are mutants from another planet. They are parasitic mutants designed by covert agencies unknown probably located in Arizona or New Mexico…

AND THEY HAVE GONE ROGUE

Should we feel sorry for Graeme Bird the carrier of the mutant buttocks? I’m not sure. He seems to be co-operative with the buttocks. He is an active supporter of the buttocks. He is an ideological fellow traveller with the buttocks. I believe he is as guilty as the buttocks and should be held responsible.

Some say no this is not true. Graeme Bird is nothing but a quivering, fearful, jelly-like coward who does what the buttocks tell him to because he is scared of them. This could the truth. But no matter when so many little girls have died to provide dinner for the greasy menace. It doesn’t matter when so many dogs are enslaved and worked to death in brothels catering to the perverted. It doesn’t matter what is the the life of one brain-dead obnoxious clown against so many?

It is nothing.

So we must nuke the evil and insane arse of Graeme Bird.

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